diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/class-runtime-statics.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/class-runtime-statics.ts
index 707c916ec8..2041fb71c6 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/class-runtime-statics.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/class-runtime-statics.ts
@@ -100,6 +100,21 @@ export function initializeRuntimeStatics(
       }
       if (!member.name) continue;
       const memberLoc = locOf(member);
+      // A private static field: its native global, assigned in order.
+      if (ts.isPrivateIdentifier(member.name)) {
+        const name = member.name.text;
+        const field = info.staticFields.find((candidate) => candidate.name === name);
+        if (!ts.isPropertyDeclaration(member) || !field) {
+          lowerer.unsupported("SC1090", member, "private static fields without an initializer");
+        }
+        statements.push({
+          kind: "assign",
+          localId: field.globalId,
+          value: lowerer.lowerExprExpecting(member.initializer!, field.type),
+          loc: memberLoc,
+        });
+        continue;
+      }
       const key: IrExpr = ts.isComputedPropertyName(member.name)
         ? computedKeys.get(member)!
         : lowerer.coerceToExpected(
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/binary.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/binary.ts
index ef21e737f2..48ea9c4908 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/binary.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/binary.ts
@@ -1,4 +1,5 @@
 /* Binary operators: arithmetic, comparisons and equality, logical and nullish pairs, and string conversion for concatenation. */
+import { lowerStaticPrivateAssignment } from "../private-statics.js";
 import { keyedHelperName } from "../stable-names.js";
 import * as ts from "../../ts7/adapter.js";
 import {
@@ -632,7 +633,11 @@ export function lowerNativeFunctionAssignment(
   const classType = storedClassValueType(lowerer, target.expression);
   const staticClass =
     classType?.kind === "classval" ? lowerer.classes.get(classType.className) : undefined;
-  if (staticClass && hasRuntimeStatics(staticClass)) {
+  if (
+    staticClass &&
+    hasRuntimeStatics(staticClass) &&
+    !(ts.isPropertyAccessExpression(target) && ts.isPrivateIdentifier(target.name))
+  ) {
     return lowerDynMemberAssignment(
       lowerer,
       expr,
@@ -1110,6 +1115,8 @@ export function lowerBinary(lowerer: Lowerer, expr: ts.BinaryExpression): IrExpr
     if (op === ts.SyntaxKind.EqualsToken) {
       const prototypeWrite = lowerClassPrototypeComputedAssignment(lowerer, expr);
       if (prototypeWrite) return prototypeWrite;
+      const staticPrivateWrite = lowerStaticPrivateAssignment(lowerer, expr);
+      if (staticPrivateWrite) return staticPrivateWrite;
       const callableWrite = lowerNativeFunctionAssignment(lowerer, expr);
       if (callableWrite) return callableWrite;
       const dereferenced = lowerDereferencedElementAssignment(lowerer, expr);
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/property-access.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/property-access.ts
index 9cf5556c46..720d1f9e9f 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/property-access.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/property-access.ts
@@ -1,4 +1,5 @@
 import { widensReducedRecords } from "../function-returns.js";
+import { lowerStaticPrivateRead } from "../private-statics.js";
 import { widthNarrowHelper } from "../coercions/unions.js";
 /* Property reads (`a.b`): lowerExprInner's property-access branch, intrinsic and union properties, field reads and targets, and match-group reads. */
 import { jsSpecialGlobalValue } from "../global-values.js";
@@ -344,6 +345,12 @@ export function lowerPropertyAccessExpr(
 ): IrExpr {
   const arrayClassConstructor = lowerArrayClassConstructorRead(lowerer, expr, loc);
   if (arrayClassConstructor !== null) return arrayClassConstructor;
+  // `R.#x` for a static private on a checked-dynamic receiver: the brand
+  // check, then the native storage (private-statics.ts).
+  {
+    const staticPrivate = lowerStaticPrivateRead(lowerer, expr, loc);
+    if (staticPrivate) return staticPrivate;
+  }
   // `value.#x` on a checked-dynamic value, or on a checked extraction of
   // one: the field of the brand-checked receiver (checkedPrivateValue).
   if (ts.isPrivateIdentifier(expr.name)) {
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/updates.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/updates.ts
index 35d5d1a2e3..4911a88d73 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/updates.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/expressions/updates.ts
@@ -1,4 +1,6 @@
 /* Increment, decrement and prefix unary operators, and compound field updates. */
+import { staticPrivateUpdateTarget } from "../private-statics.js";
+import { lowerCompoundValueToTarget } from "./binary.js";
 import {
   indexedUnionArms,
   lowerIndexedUnionNumberRead,
@@ -269,6 +271,19 @@ export function lowerIncDec(
     }
     fenceNodeModuleMutation(lowerer, access, "assignment");
     if (ts.isPropertyAccessExpression(access)) {
+      // `this.#x++` on a static private field (private-statics.ts): the
+      // brand check, then the field's native global.
+      const staticPrivate = staticPrivateUpdateTarget(lowerer, access);
+      if (staticPrivate) {
+        const update = lowerIncDecTarget(lowerer, expr, staticPrivate.target, prefix);
+        return {
+          kind: "seqExpr",
+          stmts: [staticPrivate.brand],
+          result: update,
+          type: update.type,
+          loc,
+        };
+      }
       const target =
         staticFieldWriteTarget(lowerer, access) ??
         expandoWritableTarget(lowerer, access) ??
@@ -922,6 +937,27 @@ export function lowerFieldCompoundValue(
       "compound assignment through 'super' (read and write separately)",
     );
   }
+  // `this.#x op= v` on a static private field (private-statics.ts): the
+  // brand check, then the field's native global read before the right side.
+  if (
+    ts.isPropertyAccessExpression(access) &&
+    rhsNode !== null &&
+    ts.isBinaryExpression(access.parent) &&
+    access.parent.left === access
+  ) {
+    const staticPrivate = staticPrivateUpdateTarget(lowerer, access);
+    if (staticPrivate) {
+      const { target } = staticPrivate;
+      const value = lowerCompoundValueToTarget(lowerer, access.parent, op, target);
+      return {
+        kind: "seqExpr",
+        stmts: [staticPrivate.brand],
+        result: { kind: "assignExpr", localId: target.id, value, type: target.type, loc },
+        type: target.type,
+        loc,
+      };
+    }
+  }
   const body: IrStmt[] = [];
   const save = (value: IrExpr, name: string): IrExpr => {
     const local = lowerer.declareHiddenLocal(name, value.type);
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-calls.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-calls.ts
index 019e852896..936e7017d4 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-calls.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-calls.ts
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ import {
 } from "./builtins/array-classes.js";
 import { structuralCallInstance } from "./structural-instances.js";
 import { checkedPrivateMethodReceiver, privateNameClass } from "./private-brands.js";
+import { lowerStaticPrivateCall } from "./private-statics.js";
 import { assertFunctionAliasOf } from "./lower-assert.js";
 import { keyedHelperName } from "./stable-names.js";
 import { perKeyOrder } from "./key-order-witness.js";
@@ -691,6 +692,8 @@ export function lowerCall(lowerer: Lowerer, expr: ts.CallExpression): IrExpr {
     ts.isPrivateIdentifier(expr.expression.name) &&
     !expr.expression.questionDotToken
   ) {
+    const staticPrivate = lowerStaticPrivateCall(lowerer, expr, expr.expression);
+    if (staticPrivate) return staticPrivate;
     const privateCall = lowerCheckedPrivateMethodCall(lowerer, expr, expr.expression);
     if (privateCall) return privateCall;
   }
@@ -2146,7 +2149,7 @@ function callableInstanceStringCall(
 
 /** A call through an evaluated callee value: checked-dynamic callees,
  * function unions, typed-rest and runtime-arity closures. */
-function lowerCallThroughValue(
+export function lowerCallThroughValue(
   lowerer: Lowerer,
   expr: ts.CallExpression,
   callee: IrExpr,
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-classes.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-classes.ts
index f06b972798..6bba5b8dad 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-classes.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-classes.ts
@@ -2453,9 +2453,15 @@ export function collectClassShapeInner(
               (modifier) => modifier.kind === ts.SyntaxKind.StaticKeyword,
             ),
         )) &&
+      // A private static ACCESSOR has no native storage yet, and a private
+      // static method that reads `arguments` would lose the arguments past
+      // its parameters when called through its value (`this.#m` returned by
+      // a getter): keep such a class on the static path, whose public
+      // static accessors refuse.
       !decl.members.nodes.some(
         (member) =>
-          member.name &&
+          (ts.isAccessor(member) ||
+            (ts.isMethodDeclaration(member) && bodyReadsArguments(member))) &&
           ts.isPrivateIdentifier(member.name) &&
           ts
             .getModifiers(member)
@@ -2524,8 +2530,22 @@ export function collectClassShapeInner(
             .getModifiers(member)
             ?.some((modifier) => modifier.kind === ts.SyntaxKind.StaticKeyword))
       ) {
-        runtimeStatics.push(member);
-        continue;
+        // A private static of a declaration-level class keeps its native
+        // storage (the %C.static:#m function, the %g.s.C.#x global): the
+        // constructor object never carries a property for it, and every
+        // access brand-checks its receiver (private-statics.ts). A field
+        // also stays in runtimeStatics, so its initializer runs in source
+        // order with the constructor's other initializers.
+        const privateStatic =
+          checkedStatics &&
+          !functionLocalClass(decl) &&
+          (member as { name?: ts.PropertyName }).name !== undefined &&
+          ts.isPrivateIdentifier((member as { name: ts.PropertyName }).name);
+        if (!privateStatic) {
+          runtimeStatics.push(member);
+          continue;
+        }
+        if (ts.isPropertyDeclaration(member)) runtimeStatics.push(member);
       }
       if (
         functionLocalClass(decl) &&
@@ -5140,11 +5160,15 @@ function lowerStaticFieldInitsInner(lowerer: Lowerer, info: ClassInfo): IrStmt[]
     | { pos: number; kind: "field"; f: ClassInfo["staticFields"][number] }
     | { pos: number; kind: "block"; b: ts.ClassStaticBlockDeclaration };
   const items: Item[] = [
-    ...info.staticFields.map((f): Item => ({
-      pos: ts.tokenStartOfNode(f.initializer),
-      kind: "field",
-      f,
-    })),
+    // A runtime-statics class initializes its private static fields with
+    // its other initializers (initializeRuntimeStatics).
+    ...info.staticFields
+      .filter((f) => !(info.runtimeStatics && f.name.startsWith("#")))
+      .map((f): Item => ({
+        pos: ts.tokenStartOfNode(f.initializer),
+        kind: "field",
+        f,
+      })),
     ...(info.staticBlocks ?? []).map((b): Item => ({
       pos: ts.tokenStartOfNode(b),
       kind: "block",
@@ -5849,7 +5873,7 @@ export function lowerClassStaticRead(
     !(ts.isCallExpression(site.parent) && site.parent.expression === site)
   )
     lowerer.noLowering(`Date.${name} read through a class that extends Date`, site);
-  if (hasRuntimeStatics(info) && !found?.field)
+  if (hasRuntimeStatics(info) && !found?.field && !name.startsWith("#"))
     return {
       kind: "dynKeyGet",
       value: lowerer.coerceToExpected(classValueRef(lowerer, info, receiver), DYN),
@@ -6747,7 +6771,9 @@ function staticCallOn(
     if (date) return date;
   }
   if (
-    (hasRuntimeStatics(info) && !findStaticOn(lowerer, info, access.name.text)?.field) ||
+    (hasRuntimeStatics(info) &&
+      !access.name.text.startsWith("#") &&
+      !findStaticOn(lowerer, info, access.name.text)?.field) ||
     (info.callableBase &&
       !findStaticOn(lowerer, info, access.name.text) &&
       !findGenericStaticOn(lowerer, info, access.name.text))
@@ -7202,7 +7228,9 @@ export function lowerClassValueProperty(
   if (info?.def.runtime && member !== "name") return null;
   if (
     info &&
-    ((hasRuntimeStatics(info) && !findStaticOn(lowerer, info, member)?.field) ||
+    ((hasRuntimeStatics(info) &&
+      !member.startsWith("#") &&
+      !findStaticOn(lowerer, info, member)?.field) ||
       (info.callableBase && !findStaticOn(lowerer, info, member)))
   )
     return {
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-stmts.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-stmts.ts
index 7497c38976..4ff95b6d88 100644
--- a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-stmts.ts
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/lower-stmts.ts
@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
+import { lowerStaticPrivateAssignment } from "./private-statics.js";
 import type { DiagnosticCode } from "../../diagnostics/codes.js";
 import { keepsInitializerLayout, notePreservedLayout } from "./structural-instances.js";
 import { jsGlobalValueByName } from "./global-values.js";
@@ -8732,6 +8733,9 @@ export function lowerExprStatement(lowerer: Lowerer, expr: ts.Expression): IrStm
       if (urlWrite) return { kind: "exprStmt", expr: urlWrite, loc: locOf(expr) };
     }
     if (opKind === ts.SyntaxKind.EqualsToken) {
+      const staticPrivateWrite = lowerStaticPrivateAssignment(lowerer, expr);
+      if (staticPrivateWrite)
+        return { kind: "exprStmt", expr: staticPrivateWrite, loc: locOf(expr) };
       const callableWrite = lowerNativeFunctionAssignment(lowerer, expr);
       if (callableWrite) return { kind: "exprStmt", expr: callableWrite, loc: locOf(expr) };
       // Expando function members (`foo.bar = 12`, `foo[SYM] = v` on a
diff --git a/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/private-statics.ts b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/private-statics.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..b8823a523a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/packages/compiler/src/frontend/lowering/private-statics.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,365 @@
+import * as ts from "../ts7/adapter.js";
+import {
+  BOOL,
+  DYN,
+  VOID,
+  type IrExpr,
+  type IrStmt,
+  type IrType,
+  type SrcLoc,
+} from "../../ir/ir.js";
+import { helperLoc, strLit, varRef } from "../../ir/build.js";
+import { locOf } from "../program.js";
+import { hasStaticThis } from "./static-this.js";
+import type { Lowerer } from "./lowerer.js";
+import { lowerClassStaticRead, lowerStaticMethodCall, type ClassInfo } from "./lower-classes.js";
+import { tryLowerExpression } from "./expressions/try-lower-expression.js";
+import { lowerCallThroughValue } from "./lower-calls.js";
+
+/** How a static private name is used: a field read or write, or a method
+ * (or accessor) read or call. V8 words each failure differently. */
+export type StaticPrivateUse = "read" | "write" | "method";
+
+/** The declaration-level class whose body declares `priv` as a STATIC
+ * member (the nearest enclosing class declaring the name, as JavaScript
+ * scoping resolves it). Null for an instance private, a function-local or
+ * generic class, or a class that was not collected. */
+export function staticPrivateOwner(lowerer: Lowerer, priv: ts.PrivateIdentifier): ClassInfo | null {
+  for (let node: ts.Node | undefined = priv.parent; node; node = node.parent) {
+    if (!ts.isClassDeclaration(node) && !ts.isClassExpression(node)) continue;
+    const member = node.members.nodes.find((candidate) => {
+      const name = (candidate as { name?: ts.PropertyName }).name;
+      return name !== undefined && ts.isPrivateIdentifier(name) && name.text === priv.text;
+    });
+    if (!member) continue;
+    const isStatic =
+      ts.canHaveModifiers(member) &&
+      ts.getModifiers(member)?.some((m) => m.kind === ts.SyntaxKind.StaticKeyword) === true;
+    if (!isStatic) return null;
+    for (const info of lowerer.classes.values()) {
+      if (info.decl !== node) continue;
+      if (info.localClass || info.generic || info.genericInstance) return null;
+      return info;
+    }
+    return null;
+  }
+  return null;
+}
+
+/** V8's TypeError text for a static private `name` of `info` used on a
+ * receiver that is not the declaring class object. */
+function brandMessage(info: ClassInfo, use: StaticPrivateUse, name: string): string {
+  if (use === "read")
+    return `Cannot read private member ${name} from an object whose class did not declare it`;
+  if (use === "write")
+    return `Cannot write private member ${name} to an object whose class did not declare it`;
+  // V8 names the class by its own identifier; an anonymous class
+  // expression prints ".".
+  return `Receiver must be class ${info.decl?.name?.text ?? "."}`;
+}
+
+/** The brand check of a static private: JavaScript installs static private
+ * elements on the declaring class object alone, so the receiver must BE
+ * that object (a subclass, an object inheriting from it, or a primitive
+ * throws). An expression statement calling the lifted helper
+ * `%private.static.<use>:<class>:<#name>(value: dyn): void`, which throws
+ * V8's TypeError; `value` is the checked-dynamic receiver. */
+export function staticPrivateBrandCheck(
+  lowerer: Lowerer,
+  info: ClassInfo,
+  use: StaticPrivateUse,
+  name: string,
+  value: IrExpr,
+  loc: SrcLoc,
+): IrStmt {
+  const helper = `%private.static.${use}:${info.def.name}:${name}`;
+  if (!lowerer.valueHelpers.has(helper)) {
+    const at = helperLoc(loc);
+    const param = varRef("value.0", DYN, at);
+    const classValue = lowerer.coerceToExpected(lowerer.classValueRef(info, info.decl!), DYN);
+    lowerer.liftedFns.push({
+      name: helper,
+      params: [{ localId: "value.0", name: "value", type: DYN }],
+      returnType: VOID,
+      locals: [{ id: "value.0", name: "value", type: DYN, mutable: false }],
+      body: [
+        {
+          kind: "if",
+          cond: {
+            kind: "dynScalarEq",
+            left: param,
+            right: classValue,
+            negated: true,
+            type: BOOL,
+            loc: at,
+          },
+          then: [
+            {
+              kind: "throw",
+              value: {
+                kind: "libCall",
+                fn: "error.new",
+                args: [strLit(brandMessage(info, use, name), at)],
+                type: { kind: "object", className: "%TypeError" },
+                loc: at,
+              },
+              loc: at,
+            },
+          ],
+          else_: null,
+          loc: at,
+        },
+      ],
+      loc: at,
+    });
+    lowerer.valueHelpers.set(helper, helper);
+  }
+  return {
+    kind: "exprStmt",
+    expr: { kind: "call", callee: helper, args: [value], type: VOID, loc },
+    loc,
+  };
+}
+
+/** A static private the native storage does not hold (an accessor, a
+ * field without an initializer): a loud refusal, never a string-keyed
+ * read of the class object. */
+function unsupportedStaticPrivate(lowerer: Lowerer, node: ts.Node, name: string): never {
+  return lowerer.unsupported(
+    "SC1090",
+    node,
+    `the private static '${name}' in this form on a class whose constructor carries runtime statics`,
+  );
+}
+
+/** The checked-dynamic value `expr` lowers to, or null. */
+function checkedDynamicReceiver(lowerer: Lowerer, node: ts.Expression): IrExpr | null {
+  const probed = tryLowerExpression(lowerer, node);
+  if (!probed) return null;
+  if (
+    probed.type.kind !== "dyn" &&
+    !(probed.kind === "dynCheck" && probed.value.type.kind === "dyn")
+  )
+    return null;
+  const value = lowerer.lowerExpr(node);
+  if (value.type.kind === "dyn") return value;
+  return value.kind === "dynCheck" ? value.value : null;
+}
+
+/** `R.#x` / `R.#m` read, where `#x` is a static private of a
+ * declaration-level class and `R` is a checked-dynamic value (`this` in a
+ * static accessor or method that the constructor object carries): the
+ * brand check, then the member's native storage. Null for other reads,
+ * which keep their paths (the class's own name reads storage directly). */
+export function lowerStaticPrivateRead(
+  lowerer: Lowerer,
+  expr: ts.PropertyAccessExpression,
+  loc: SrcLoc,
+): IrExpr | null {
+  if (!ts.isPrivateIdentifier(expr.name) || expr.questionDotToken) return null;
+  const info = staticPrivateOwner(lowerer, expr.name);
+  if (!info || !info.runtimeStatics) return null;
+  if (lowerer.exactClassOfReceiver(expr.expression) === info) return null;
+  const value = checkedDynamicReceiver(lowerer, expr.expression);
+  if (!value) return null;
+  const name = expr.name.text;
+  const found = lowerer.findStaticOn(info, name);
+  if (!found) unsupportedStaticPrivate(lowerer, expr, name);
+  const read = lowerClassStaticRead(lowerer, info, name, expr.expression, expr);
+  if (!read) return null;
+  return {
+    kind: "seqExpr",
+    stmts: [
+      staticPrivateBrandCheck(lowerer, info, found.field ? "read" : "method", name, value, loc),
+    ],
+    result: read,
+    type: read.type,
+    loc,
+  };
+}
+
+/** `R.#m(args)` for a static private method on a checked-dynamic receiver:
+ * the brand check, then the call with `this` known to be the declaring
+ * class. A receiver other than `this` reaches only methods that do not
+ * read `this`; the others keep a loud refusal. */
+export function lowerStaticPrivateCall(
+  lowerer: Lowerer,
+  call: ts.CallExpression,
+  access: ts.PropertyAccessExpression,
+): IrExpr | null {
+  if (!ts.isPrivateIdentifier(access.name) || access.questionDotToken) return null;
+  const info = staticPrivateOwner(lowerer, access.name);
+  if (!info || !info.runtimeStatics) return null;
+  if (lowerer.exactClassOfReceiver(access.expression) === info) return null;
+  const name = access.name.text;
+  const found = lowerer.findStaticOn(info, name);
+  if (!found) unsupportedStaticPrivate(lowerer, call, name);
+  const value = checkedDynamicReceiver(lowerer, access.expression);
+  if (!value) return null;
+  const loc = locOf(call);
+  if (found.field !== undefined)
+    return lowerStaticPrivateFieldCall(lowerer, call, info, name, found.field, value);
+  const brand = staticPrivateBrandCheck(lowerer, info, "method", name, value, loc);
+  let result: IrExpr | null;
+  if (access.expression.kind === ts.SyntaxKind.ThisKeyword) {
+    // After the check `this` IS the class: lower the call against a
+    // class-valued `this`, the exact-receiver static path.
+    const classType: IrType = { kind: "classval", className: info.def.name };
+    const local = lowerer.declareHiddenLocal("%staticPrivateThis", classType);
+    const previous = lowerer.ctx.thisLocal;
+    lowerer.ctx.thisLocal = local;
+    try {
+      result = lowerStaticMethodCall(lowerer, call, access);
+    } finally {
+      lowerer.ctx.thisLocal = previous;
+    }
+    if (!result) return null;
+    return {
+      kind: "seqExpr",
+      stmts: [
+        brand,
+        {
+          kind: "varDecl",
+          localId: local.id,
+          init: lowerer.coerceToExpected(lowerer.classValueRef(info, info.decl!), classType),
+          loc,
+        },
+      ],
+      result,
+      type: result.type,
+      loc,
+    };
+  }
+  if (found.method.member.body && hasStaticThis(found.method.member)) {
+    lowerer.unsupported(
+      "SC1090",
+      call,
+      `calling the private static '${name}' through a value other than 'this' when the method reads 'this'`,
+    );
+  }
+  const fnName = `%${found.declarer.def.name}.static:${name}`;
+  lowerer.noteEdge(fnName);
+  const args = lowerer.completeArgs(call.arguments.nodes, found.method.params, loc, call);
+  return {
+    kind: "seqExpr",
+    stmts: [brand],
+    result: { kind: "call", callee: fnName, args, type: found.method.ret, loc },
+    type: found.method.ret,
+    loc,
+  };
+}
+
+/** `R.#f(args)` for a function-valued static private field on a
+ * checked-dynamic receiver: the receiver, the brand check (PrivateGet's),
+ * then a call through the field's value with `this` bound to the receiver,
+ * as JavaScript calls a private field's function. The call takes the
+ * ordinary call-through-value lanes, so rest parameters, typed rests and
+ * checked-dynamic values receive every argument. */
+function lowerStaticPrivateFieldCall(
+  lowerer: Lowerer,
+  call: ts.CallExpression,
+  info: ClassInfo,
+  name: string,
+  field: ClassInfo["staticFields"][number],
+  value: IrExpr,
+): IrExpr {
+  const loc = locOf(call);
+  const receiver = lowerer.declareHiddenLocal("%staticPrivateReceiver", DYN);
+  const lowered = lowerCallThroughValue(
+    lowerer,
+    call,
+    varRef(field.globalId, field.type, loc),
+    loc,
+  );
+  if (lowered.kind !== "callValue" && lowered.kind !== "dynCall") {
+    return lowerer.unsupported(
+      "SC1090",
+      call,
+      `this call of the private static field '${name}' (spread arguments)`,
+    );
+  }
+  const result: IrExpr = { ...lowered, receiver: varRef(receiver.id, DYN, loc) };
+  return {
+    kind: "seqExpr",
+    stmts: [
+      { kind: "varDecl", localId: receiver.id, init: value, loc },
+      staticPrivateBrandCheck(lowerer, info, "read", name, varRef(receiver.id, DYN, loc), loc),
+    ],
+    result,
+    type: result.type,
+    loc,
+  };
+}
+
+/** `R.#x = v` for a static private field on a checked-dynamic receiver:
+ * the receiver, then the value, then the brand check (PrivateSet checks
+ * after the right side runs), then the native global. */
+export function lowerStaticPrivateAssignment(
+  lowerer: Lowerer,
+  expr: ts.BinaryExpression,
+): IrExpr | null {
+  const target = expr.left;
+  if (
+    expr.operatorToken.kind !== ts.SyntaxKind.EqualsToken ||
+    !ts.isPropertyAccessExpression(target) ||
+    !ts.isPrivateIdentifier(target.name)
+  )
+    return null;
+  const info = staticPrivateOwner(lowerer, target.name);
+  if (!info || !info.runtimeStatics) return null;
+  if (lowerer.exactClassOfReceiver(target.expression) === info) return null;
+  const name = target.name.text;
+  const found = lowerer.findStaticOn(info, name);
+  if (!found?.field) unsupportedStaticPrivate(lowerer, expr, name);
+  const value = checkedDynamicReceiver(lowerer, target.expression);
+  if (!value) return null;
+  const loc = locOf(expr);
+  const receiver = lowerer.declareHiddenLocal("%staticPrivateReceiver", DYN);
+  const assigned = lowerer.declareHiddenLocal("%staticPrivateValue", found.field.type);
+  return {
+    kind: "seqExpr",
+    stmts: [
+      { kind: "varDecl", localId: receiver.id, init: value, loc },
+      {
+        kind: "varDecl",
+        localId: assigned.id,
+        init: lowerer.lowerExprExpecting(expr.right, found.field.type),
+        loc,
+      },
+      staticPrivateBrandCheck(lowerer, info, "write", name, varRef(receiver.id, DYN, loc), loc),
+      {
+        kind: "assign",
+        localId: found.field.globalId,
+        value: varRef(assigned.id, found.field.type, loc),
+        loc,
+      },
+    ],
+    result: varRef(assigned.id, found.field.type, loc),
+    type: found.field.type,
+    loc,
+  };
+}
+
+/** The update target of `R.#x++`, `--R.#x` or `R.#x op= v` for a static
+ * private field on a checked-dynamic receiver: the brand check, which runs
+ * where PrivateGet reads the old value (before the right side), and the
+ * field's native global. The write after it needs no second check: the
+ * receiver already passed. Null for other targets. */
+export function staticPrivateUpdateTarget(
+  lowerer: Lowerer,
+  access: ts.PropertyAccessExpression,
+): { brand: IrStmt; target: { id: string; type: IrType } } | null {
+  if (!ts.isPrivateIdentifier(access.name) || access.questionDotToken) return null;
+  const info = staticPrivateOwner(lowerer, access.name);
+  if (!info || !info.runtimeStatics) return null;
+  if (lowerer.exactClassOfReceiver(access.expression) === info) return null;
+  const name = access.name.text;
+  const found = lowerer.findStaticOn(info, name);
+  if (!found?.field) unsupportedStaticPrivate(lowerer, access, name);
+  const value = checkedDynamicReceiver(lowerer, access.expression);
+  if (!value) return null;
+  return {
+    brand: staticPrivateBrandCheck(lowerer, info, "read", name, value, locOf(access)),
+    target: { id: found.field.globalId, type: found.field.type },
+  };
+}
diff --git a/packages/compiler/test/private-static-receivers.test.ts b/packages/compiler/test/private-static-receivers.test.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..c9260f1998
--- /dev/null
+++ b/packages/compiler/test/private-static-receivers.test.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,100 @@
+import { mkdtemp, readFile, rm, writeFile } from "node:fs/promises";
+import { tmpdir } from "node:os";
+import { join } from "node:path";
+import { expect, test } from "vitest";
+import { compile, deserializeModule } from "../src/index.js";
+
+/** The names of the module's functions and of every call target. */
+async function lowered(
+  source: string,
+): Promise<{ functions: string[]; callees: string[]; keys: string[] }> {
+  const dir = await mkdtemp(join(tmpdir(), "scriptc-private-statics-"));
+  try {
+    const entry = join(dir, "main.js");
+    await writeFile(entry, source);
+    const outPath = join(dir, "main.ir.json");
+    const result = await compile(entry, { outDir: dir, outPath, outputKind: "ir" });
+    if (!result.ok)
+      throw new Error(result.diagnostics.map((d) => `${d.code}: ${d.message}`).join("\n"));
+    const mod = deserializeModule(await readFile(outPath, "utf8"));
+    const callees: string[] = [];
+    const keys: string[] = [];
+    const visit = (value: unknown): void => {
+      if (Array.isArray(value)) {
+        for (const item of value) visit(item);
+        return;
+      }
+      if (value === null || typeof value !== "object") return;
+      const node = value as { kind?: unknown; callee?: unknown; value?: unknown };
+      if (node.kind === "call" && typeof node.callee === "string") callees.push(node.callee);
+      if (node.kind === "strLit" && typeof node.value === "string" && node.value.startsWith("#"))
+        keys.push(node.value);
+      for (const child of Object.values(value)) visit(child);
+    };
+    visit(mod.functions);
+    return { functions: mod.functions.map((fn) => fn.name), callees, keys };
+  } finally {
+    await rm(dir, { recursive: true, force: true });
+  }
+}
+
+test("a static private read through `this` in a runtime static accessor checks the brand", async () => {
+  const ir = await lowered(
+    `class C {
+      static #x = 1;
+      static #m() { return 2; }
+      static get x() { return this.#x; }
+      static get m() { return this.#m; }
+    }
+    console.log(C.x, C.m());
+    `,
+  );
+  expect(ir.callees).toContain("%private.static.read:C:#x");
+  expect(ir.callees).toContain("%private.static.method:C:#m");
+  // The private names never become string keys of the class object.
+  expect(ir.keys).toEqual([]);
+});
+
+test("the declaring class's own name reads native storage without a check", async () => {
+  const ir = await lowered(
+    `class C {
+      static #x = 1;
+      static get x() { return C.#x; }
+    }
+    console.log(C.x);
+    `,
+  );
+  expect(ir.functions.some((name) => name.startsWith("%private.static."))).toBe(false);
+  expect(ir.keys).toEqual([]);
+});
+
+test("a function-valued static private field called through `this` calls the stored function", async () => {
+  const ir = await lowered(
+    `class C {
+      static #fn = function (a) { return a + 1; };
+      static get viaGetter() { return this.#fn(1); }
+    }
+    console.log(C.viaGetter);
+    `,
+  );
+  expect(ir.callees).toContain("%private.static.read:C:#fn");
+  expect(ir.keys).toEqual([]);
+});
+
+test("updates of a static private field through `this` check the brand and keep native storage", async () => {
+  const ir = await lowered(
+    `class C {
+      static #n = 1;
+      static get bump() {
+        this.#n++;
+        --this.#n;
+        this.#n += 2;
+        return this.#n;
+      }
+    }
+    console.log(C.bump);
+    `,
+  );
+  expect(ir.callees).toContain("%private.static.read:C:#n");
+  expect(ir.keys).toEqual([]);
+});
diff --git a/packages/compiler/test/ts7/baselines/order-parity/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js.json b/packages/compiler/test/ts7/baselines/order-parity/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js.json
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..513a5bc93d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/packages/compiler/test/ts7/baselines/order-parity/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js.json
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+{
+ "order": [
+  "<repo>/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js"
+ ],
+ "diags": []
+}
diff --git a/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js b/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..6d1b5da6d7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/corpus/js-private-static-receivers.js
@@ -0,0 +1,182 @@
+// Static private members of a JavaScript class whose constructor object is
+// materialized at run time (it has a public static accessor). The private
+// members keep their native storage; every access through a receiver other
+// than the class's own name checks that the receiver IS the declaring class,
+// as Node does: a subclass, an object inheriting from the class, or a
+// primitive throws V8's TypeError.
+
+let calls = 0;
+var Getter = class {
+  static #method(a, b) {
+    calls++;
+    return a + b;
+  }
+  static get method() {
+    return this.#method;
+  }
+};
+console.log("getter method", Getter.method(1, 2), calls);
+
+var Generators = class {
+  static *#gen(n) {
+    yield n;
+    yield n + 1;
+  }
+  static async *#agen(n) {
+    yield n * 2;
+  }
+  static get gen() {
+    return this.#gen;
+  }
+  static get agen() {
+    return this.#agen;
+  }
+};
+console.log("generator", [...Generators.gen(3)].join(","));
+
+class Counter {
+  static #count = 5;
+  static #label() {
+    return "count:" + Counter.#count;
+  }
+  static get count() {
+    return this.#count;
+  }
+  static set count(value) {
+    this.#count = value;
+  }
+  static get label() {
+    return this.#label;
+  }
+  static describe() {
+    return this.#label();
+  }
+}
+console.log("counter", Counter.count, Counter.label(), Counter.describe());
+Counter.count = 9;
+console.log("after write", Counter.count, Counter.describe());
+
+class Sub extends Counter {}
+const probes = [
+  ["Sub.count", () => Sub.count],
+  ["Sub.count =", () => {
+    Sub.count = 1;
+  }],
+  ["Sub.label", () => Sub.label],
+  ["Sub.describe()", () => Sub.describe()],
+];
+for (const [label, probe] of probes) {
+  try {
+    console.log(label, "returned", String(probe()));
+  } catch (error) {
+    console.log(label, error.constructor.name, error.message);
+  }
+}
+console.log("unchanged", Counter.count);
+
+// A private name is never a string key of the class object.
+console.log("no string key", Object.hasOwn(Counter, "#count"), "#count" in Counter, Object.hasOwn(Getter, "#method"));
+
+// Static initializers run in source order, private ones included.
+const order = [];
+class Ordered {
+  static a = (order.push("a"), 1);
+  static #b = (order.push("#b"), Ordered.a + 1);
+  static c = (order.push("c"), Ordered.#b + 1);
+  static {
+    order.push("block " + Ordered.#b);
+  }
+  static get all() {
+    return [this.a, this.#b, this.c].join(",");
+  }
+}
+console.log("order", order.join(","), Ordered.all);
+
+// A receiver passed in as a value: the same check. V8 names an anonymous
+// class expression ".".
+var Anonymous = class {
+  static #m() {
+    return "m";
+  }
+  static get m() {
+    return this.#m;
+  }
+  static probe(other) {
+    return typeof other.#m;
+  }
+};
+console.log("probe self", Anonymous.probe(Anonymous), Anonymous.m());
+for (const other of [{}, 1, undefined]) {
+  try {
+    Anonymous.probe(other);
+  } catch (error) {
+    console.log("probe", typeof other, error.constructor.name, error.message);
+  }
+}
+
+Generators.agen(4)
+  .next()
+  .then((step) => console.log("async generator", step.value, step.done));
+
+// A function-valued private static field called through `this` runs with
+// `this` bound to the receiver; a receiver other than the class throws the
+// field read's TypeError.
+class Calls {
+  static #fn = function (a) {
+    return (this === Calls ? "self " : "other ") + a;
+  };
+  static #arrow = (a) => "arrow " + a;
+  static get viaGetter() {
+    return this.#fn(2) + " " + this.#arrow(2);
+  }
+  static viaOther(other, a) {
+    return other.#fn(a);
+  }
+  static get fn() {
+    return this.#fn;
+  }
+}
+console.log("field call", Calls.viaGetter, Calls.viaOther(Calls, 3));
+try {
+  Calls.viaOther({}, 4);
+} catch (error) {
+  console.log("field call", error.constructor.name, error.message);
+}
+
+// Updates of a private static field through `this` update its storage.
+class Updates {
+  static #n = 1;
+  static #s = "a";
+  static get bump() {
+    const a = this.#n++;
+    const b = ++this.#n;
+    const c = this.#n--;
+    this.#n += 10;
+    const d = (this.#n *= 2);
+    this.#s += "b";
+    return [a, b, c, d, this.#n, this.#s].join(",");
+  }
+}
+console.log("updates", Updates.bump, Updates.bump, Object.hasOwn(Updates, "#n"));
+class SubUpdates extends Updates {}
+try {
+  SubUpdates.bump;
+} catch (error) {
+  console.log("updates", error.constructor.name, error.message);
+}
+
+// A private static field holding a rest-parameter function, or one that
+// reads `arguments`, receives every argument of a call through `this`.
+class Rest {
+  static #sum = function (...xs) {
+    return (this === Rest ? "self " : "other ") + xs.length + ":" + xs.reduce((a, b) => a + b, 0);
+  };
+  static #arrow = (first, ...rest) => first + "|" + rest.join(",");
+  static #plain = function (a, b) {
+    return [a, b, arguments.length].join("/");
+  };
+  static get run() {
+    return [this.#sum(1, 2, 3), this.#sum(), this.#arrow(1, 2, 3), this.#plain(1), this.#plain(1, 2, 3)].join(" ; ");
+  }
+}
+console.log("rest", Rest.run);
diff --git a/tests/harness/corpus-costs/js-private-static-receivers.js.json b/tests/harness/corpus-costs/js-private-static-receivers.js.json
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..19c5a4186c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/harness/corpus-costs/js-private-static-receivers.js.json
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+{ "plain": 2124, "san": 75913 }